Sleeping Alone

I don't know about other wives, but I stay with my husband when he is in the hospital. It is not the most pleasant experience, but at least we are close by. When he was in the hospital in October and November I slept every night in a recliner that pulled out into a "bed". The "bed" consisted of a big lump between cushions that settled on my lower back. If you wanted to roll over, chances are that you would hit an elbow or arm. In other words, it was the worst sleep possible.

This stay in the hospital, we were admitted on Christmas Day. I think the charge nurse felt sorry for us, so she put us in a semi-private room with no roommate. It was early in the day and we stayed on our side of the room but kept one eye on the door to see if we would be sharing facilities with some other poor soul that had to spend the holiday in the hospital. By early evening no one appeared, so my eye roamed toward the empty bed. I sheepishly asked the charge nurse if I could sleep in the bed. She said yes and I jumped up and down with delight. I was going to sleep in a bed in the hospital! Lord, thank you for showing me favor.

The next night, I asked her again and she gave me the same answer. I brought my own blanket, laptop, iPad, Kindle and house shoes. This was luxury to me. We stayed together in that room in separate beds for 8 out of the 10 nights he was recovering from pneumonia. A friend and Brian pinch hit for me the other two nights. Don't get me wrong, I had my moments of frustration and exhaustion. You cannot sleep in a hospital, especially when nurses and aids and technicians are coming in the room every 20 minutes. I griped, but my husband wanted me there and of course I wanted to be there so we made the best of the situation.

We escaped the hospital tonight and Al moved into a skilled nursing facility ALONE. It is a very nice place, much nicer than the hospital, but they discourage overnight visitors. He is there to regain strength and they encourage him to do things on his own. If he needs water, he needs to reach for it himself without his wife jumping up and getting it for him. I must confess that earlier in the day all I could think of was sleeping in my own bed and how wonderful it would be. I changed my mind after I had to say goodnight to my husband. When I left there, I cried for him and for me and for the space cancer has put between us.