One month ago today my husband passed away. The saying "Time flies when you're having fun" is so true, but when you're not having fun, like me, it can be the longest time you will ever spend.
The first week was the viewing, the funeral, hearing from friends and eating the food that simply appeared at my door. Thank you to everyone who prayed, cooked, called, mailed cards or left a message for me. It was all sincerely appreciated. The second week, I sold my house and the buyers wanted to take possession within 2 1/2 weeks. Who can turn down an offer on your house (when it wasn't even on the market) for almost full asking price...not me. Al would have wanted me to sell, we had talked about it often. In fact, while he was in the hospital the last month, he kept asking me if it was on the market yet. I had not done that, because I still held out hope that he would come home. In any case, it sold. But, by the end of the second week, I couldn't believe it had only been two weeks since his passing...it felt like two years. The third and fourth week, I packed and packed and packed. That kept me busy, which is what I needed.
Today I closed on the house and I am officially moved into my condo on the water. It is small (talk about downsizing) but, cozy and beautiful. This was the perfect place for me to go. Al and I had purchased this as a "second home" two years ago. Even though we only spent two nights in it in that time frame, I would come here often during the day and relax and sometimes even accomplish some work. He told me once that if anything happened to me he would move here. Instead, it's me moving, but at least it is to a place that had meaning to both of us.
During the packing process, I stared at all the "stuff" and said out loud to a friend, "I can't believe Al died and left me to do this all by myself". It was not said in anger, simply sadness. The friend looked at me and said, "He didn't mean to". Wow, how real was that statement! Of course, he didn't mean to, so buckle up and move on, that's what he would want.
My new life starts now. I will always miss him...he was an incredible man and a wonderful husband. He would not want me to wallow in sorrow, but rejoice in the fact that he finished his race and was rewarded greatly.
